If you didn’t love him, this wouldn’t hurt. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t feel the weight of conviction. The fact that you are still fighting, still crying out, still longing to be free. That is the evidence that Gods spirit is in you. Do you think Peter stopped loving Jesus when he denied Him 3 times? Do you think Paul was not chosen when he cried “Why do I keep doing what I hate.” They fell, but Gods mercy held them up and he is holding you too. God does not love you because you’re strong, he loves you because you are His. You won’t win this battle by fighting harder, you will win by surrendering deeper. Get back up, keep going to him, you are not too far gone. You are still His.
